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Learning to say no

IMG_0197 copyLately life has presented me with some opportunities that haven’t felt quite right.  In the past I have been the type of person that would always agree and say ‘yes’ even if part of me was screaming no.

Part of my transition to truly living with heart and soul is learning to listen to my inner voice, that voice of intuition that truly knows what is best for me.

So that has meant learning to say no instead of jumping in and saying yes and then feeling disappointed in myself for not speaking my truth.

If you are familiar with Chakra’s you will know that the throat charka is all about communication. When ever I have had energy work completed in the past there is almost always a blockage for me in my throat charka.  I know this has been due to my inability to speak up to others when I need too.

So what does this all mean?

To truly live the life we love we must honour ourselves first.  If something doesn’t feel quite right, don’t immediately agree to it. Instead of saying yes without thinking it properly through, tell them you will let them know and then take that time to decide for yourself, is this something you truly want to be doing, or is your answer a polite no.

Hayhouse author Cheryl Richardson has a whole chapter devoted to this in her book “The Art of Extreme Self-Care” The chapter is called Let me Disappoint You and this is a little piece from it:


“You’ll need to start saying no, setting limits, and putting boundaries in place to protect your time, energy and emotional needs”.                                           Cheryl Richardson


So how does it feel to say no?

Well approaching it in a manner that is truthful and kind really is key.  It is difficult enough if someone has asked something of you and you cannot commit so being tactful and expressing your true feelings really is the best course of action for everyone concerned.  After all going along with something when your heart is just not in it, doesn’t benefit them either.

Initially I have been worried about hurting the feelings of others and although that is still a concern for me, to actually speak up and express my true feelings is very empowering.  I know that each time I speak my true feelings I gain more confidence to travel the path I desire.

This has been a huge lesson for me lately and one that I know will come up for me time and time again.

Are there any life lessons that come up for you time and time again?

What have you had to say no to lately and how did that make you feel?



photo credit Renee Bell via Little Girls with Great Big Dreams

10 Comments on Learning to say no

  1. Jenni
    February 21, 2015 at 12:06 am (4 years ago)

    Yep, it’s not easy to say no Renee. I love that saying also. Not easy when your lesson includes getting sick also, I hope you are feeling better soon xxx

  2. Renee Bell
    February 20, 2015 at 2:53 pm (4 years ago)

    I try (as often as I can) to remember the principle
    “If it isn’t a heck yes, then it is a no.”

    But absolutely my throat chakra is one that often needs work!! I say yes to so many things out of obligation (my own vision of that) when really I should be saying no and putting myself first. Cue – chronic fatigue and glandular fever!!! If that isn’t enough of a warning, then what is>? lol

  3. Jenni
    February 18, 2015 at 12:19 pm (4 years ago)

    Thanks Jenny. I agree such a feeling of freedom when we do speak up. It is so wonderful to have your feedback here, thank you for connecting xxx

  4. Jenny
    February 17, 2015 at 10:59 am (4 years ago)

    Hi Jenny, I really enjoyed reading this post from you and could very much relate to having blockages in the throat chakra and the key lesson of needing to speak up coming up time and time again! It has been one of my biggest life lessons. The amount of freedom that we can gain each time we speak up and allow our needs to be heard is tremendous. Here’s to speaking up, expressing ourselves in whatever way is needed and most of all, keeping true to who we are. x

  5. Jenni
    February 5, 2015 at 11:50 pm (4 years ago)

    Thank you Sonia xxx

  6. Sonia
    February 5, 2015 at 6:53 pm (4 years ago)

    Well put and great to see – Inspiring 😉

  7. Jenni
    February 4, 2015 at 10:52 pm (4 years ago)

    Hi Kris, it is very easy to get into that trap of saying yes to absolutely everything isn’t it? And I agree about the chocolate!!! Thanks for your support xxx

  8. Jenni
    February 4, 2015 at 10:49 pm (4 years ago)

    Thanks Lindsey, looks like we can keep working on this together! Thanks for stopping by xxx

  9. Kris
    February 4, 2015 at 7:29 pm (4 years ago)

    Yep, totally, this is so me. I keep saying yes to blogging things when I just don’t have the time right now. I even made myself go back and say sorry NO I’m out of my depth. If I feel cringy about doing it, I leave it alone. And you’re right, the most important thing is to pause before you agree to anything. Unless it’s chocolate x

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